Sex Tale: Comedian Overloaded by Exactly How Many Men She’s Witnessing

Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher

Recently, a comedian having plenty perverted intercourse with several partners: 28, unmarried, queer, Atlanta.

time ONE

9 a.m.

Very good news: i will have intercourse once more! I’d BV for around a couple weeks; for an extra, I imagined i would experienced gonorrhea. I am often really safe, but on Thanksgiving I had a threesome with twins (yes, you read that properly), and we did not use condoms because â?¦ really â?¦ we simply failed to.

How threesome came about: we started conversing with Chris on Feeld (my personal ride-or-die application), in which he appeared cool. He then sent me personally a photo of him with his bro with all the caption, “what exactly do you think of twins?” They informed me they have done this like five or six instances. I’ve had quite a few FFM threesomes, but never a MMF threesome, and I also were trying to find one for a time.

We had a lot of fun, to put it mildly. They got countless pics and videos (with my permission!). I tried my personal very first DP, and enjoyed it. After, they got turns showering beside me and cleansing my body, and in addition we lamented just how difficult it’s to acquire someone who’s understanding of “the life-style.” “The lifestyle” indicates plenty of things â?? kink, moving, threesomes, nonmonogamy, unicorning, BDSM â?¦ really a nontraditional view of intercourse.

11 a.m.

I’m naughty. We opt to rally the troops and find out what my choices are. We just take nudes inside my area and deliver them to three guys, including Chris.

5 p.m.

I’m a comedian, and I also have actually a show.

6:30 p.m.

Program’s over! Chris comes to my apartment. We instantly start going at it. He is very bad at fingering. We grab my dildo, making myself come while he really does whatever he is undertaking.

9 p.m.

I begin chatting with a 25-year-old, six-foot-five, jacked high-school teacher. He can deadlift 500 lbs, and that I want him to shot-put my body across Metro Atlanta.

time a couple

9 a.m.

Start talking-to a guy known as James on Feeld in-between units within gymnasium. He’s adorable, in which he’s presently checking out a Cormac McCarthy book, which can be


11 a.m.

James and that I have gotten more explicit. I send him a photo of my butt. The guy asks if I want to see his cock. Yes, please. He sends myself a photo, and it is big. And, like,


I think I’m gonna go over to see him this evening, before a night out together with another man.

5:45 p.m.

We arrive at James’s apartment. He was about to bathe, in which he answers the entranceway totally naked. The guy rinses off and instantly causes myself into their bedroom. The sex is good, maybe not fantastic. The guy helps to keep attempting to screw myself inside butt although I told him I don’t perform rectal the very first time. I decide I’m perhaps not attending see him again. I really don’t like that he helps to keep testing my limits. Bad sign.

8 p.m.

Fernando turns up inside my place. We come across one another once a week. He’s from Colombia, in which he dirty talks in Spanish although we have sexual intercourse. The guy informs me he just adopted a grant to go to Bogotá for per month during cold weather break, and I’m unfortunate he will be gone for way too long! He fucks me with a plug inside my ass, then there is anal intercourse, and I come like 4 times.

9 p.m.

We sext with another guy I’ve been speaking with, Trevor. The guy keeps inquiring us to tell him dirty stories, and that I’m obtaining annoyed because i simply feel i am porn for him. We are going out the next day, and that I’ll observe that goes.

time THREE

6 a.m.

I have a “hello, stunning” click from Trevor. Yikes. I do believe he could be in really love beside me.

9 a.m.

James Snaps myself and informs me which he can not wait to bang my face once more. We roll my sight. I’m annoyed he believes they can just use me like his doll. He failed to even decrease on myself, and I also ate his ass, for Chrissake. We delete him from Snap.

11:30 a.m.

A guy called Jordan and I also begin talking. He is six-foot-seven, and that is hot. I’m five-foot-ten, and I’m not a height queen, but a tall guy is actually (Borat voice) excellent. He actually leaves town tomorrow, so wewill meet up afterwards. I reschedule Trevor thus I can see Jordan tonight.

1 p.m.

I am creating a novel which is a series of essays about my personal history with gender â?? We haven’t for ages been this intimately adventurous. I have had gotten three essays left, and my harem is creating my phone ring-off the hook. All y’all must relax. I do have other stuff to complete besides send-out pictures of my breasts.

11:30 p.m.

Jordan has arrived. We start making out on my sleep. He is so tall! Really don’t get to feel little very often. He is very good together with his hands with his lips. The guy fingers me and can make me personally squirt. We are both thrilled. We are both exhibitionists, therefore we take some videos of myself blowing him. He informs me i could send these to whomever, and I simply tell him alike.

time FOUR

7:30 a.m.

Pull me out of bed to go to treatment. My specialist is actually stressed I’m not emphasizing me sufficient, and I’m thus busy with comedy and my guide and males that my self-care is sliding through the cracks. Ding ding ding!

2 p.m.

We wake-up from a nap and recognize I’m designed to go spend time with this specific other guy, Craig. Fuck. And I’ve got so many Kik and Feeld and messages and Snaps, and everyone wishes part of myself, and I also’m similar to, “every person keep me personally by yourself!!” I go to rest.

3:30 p.m.

We awaken once again and remember rescheduling, but Craig and that I are attempting to spend time for four weeks. I’m bad canceling on him. We make it to his place at 3:45 p.m. He’s cute-ish. He is a mediocre kisser. He’s terrible at fingering. Gender is actually terrible. I am dried out as a bone the entire time. Sooner or later, the guy will get fairly smooth, and he’s love, “Welp,” and that I’m love, “Okay, well, this has been fun!” strolling back once again to my car, we notice that he’s disconnected from me on Feeld. I have a good laugh a bit. I quickly go back home and return to sleep.

7:45 p.m.

I show up at Trevor’s, and then he’s sizzling hot. He’s six-foot-five and played offensive line in school. I have two margaritas and that I desire him to pound myself and cuddle me to sleep-in equal measure. His hands will be the size of my head. The guy does not sleep with individuals on very first go out, though, which is frustrating. The guy likes that I’m a slut, though, and begs me to tell him tales. All men during my harem really love hearing about me getting along with other dudes. Occasionally I adore it; sometimes it can make me personally feel a walking adult toy. I don’t mind enticing the dream, but i am nevertheless an entire individual with expectations and fantasies.

9 p.m.

Trevor and I sit in my vehicle. We make-out for some time. He chokes myself somewhat. I unbutton my personal shirt, and he removes my boobs and he bites my personal hard nipples. I sign up for their cock and it’s rather huge. I drive house, tired. He wishes me to record him videos while I get back home, but we send him a pic of myself sucking the six-foot-seven guy’s huge dick alternatively following distribute.

time FIVE

9 a.m.

Wake up and feel crap.

12 p.m.

I understand i am resting so much because I use up all your Vyvanse and also haven’t received my Rx loaded.

2 p.m.

We content my personal medical practitioner requesting him to restore my Vyvanse Rx.

5:30 p.m.

I have a book that my Vyvanse was loaded, and I also pull myself out of bed and drive to my personal drugstore.

6:45 p.m.

I visit the studio to do some run my personal comedy record.

2 a.m.

That Vyvanse is functioning overtime, and I also can not sleep.


12:40 p.m.

Start conversing with some one named Brandon. He’s a college teacher in the city for a marriage. We ask him practically three concerns, next offer him my address.

2:30 p.m.

Damn. Which was â?¦ rather great. He was huge, in which he spanked me personally


I’m bound become feeling it later on. We obtain clothed and bid our very own good-byes.

7:30 p.m.

I thought my tv show was at 8, but it is at 11. Fuck. Trevor wants a video. We choose to engage him. I clip me personally drawing to my giant dildo, and he’s through roofing system. I can not watch for him ahead more than on Sunday.

11 p.m.

My personal tv series goes really! I am dealing with brand new content about nonmonogamy nowadays, and it’s been a struggle to make it relatable. Another man I’ve been seeing, Brian, texts me personally and requires me personally what’s up. Shit. We forgot We informed him we might hang. I head to their destination after my personal ready.

12:30 a.m.

We sit and drink white drink in the bed room. He’s actually precious and then he tends to make me personally laugh. I proceed to their sleep, wanting to entice him into soon after myself. He’s somewhat timid, but fundamentally we begin making completely. Circumstances have harsh. Like, too crude. He’s getting and pinching and taking at me, and it hurts, not in a great way. “hold off, stop â?¦ this â?¦ doesn’t feel well,” I say. He straight away prevents. “i really want you to feel good,” according to him. “Well, that has been too harsh. I’m sure I seem like a rough-and-tough girl, but I had to develop that it is some slower and softer,” I say. He is open. I happened to be attending leave, but he’s getting thus nice now.

2:30 a.m.

Stunning myself, we spend the evening with him. We have enough sleep close to a man for the first time in quite a long time.

time SEVEN

10:20 a.m.

I have been awake for a time, but Brian ultimately stirs. We’ve morning gender. “Better?” he asks. Truly. The guy causes us to be both cereal and coffee, and it’s great. We head home to get ready for my time with Kara.

12:30 p.m.

I fulfill Kara for coffee. There is a good time! This is actually my first solo go out with a lady. We are both bi, so we discover the truth we’ve spoke to a few of the same men/couples. We kiss good-bye after our very own time, and I keep in mind how wonderful making out women is. Therefore comfortable. We’re gonna perform dinner on Thursday, and I also’m across the moon!

6 p.m.

We debate heading out or appealing someone over, but determine that today is simply about myself. I want it, too. Defectively. After my counselor and that I talked-about it, we realized I have been giving much of myself with other individuals that I hadn’t been hearing my self. We state: Fuck, suck, and cuck your path to carnal bliss; but remember the sole individual you can screw that may allow you to genuinely pleased is actually your self.

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